Conflict in our Lives & Churches: Part II

As we continue to talk about conflict with others there is one word that is usually in the middle of it.  The word is pride.  Often within conflict we allow ourselves to get in the way of being able to bring resolution to the conflict.   We are warned often within the scriptures that pride can become our downfall.  We read verses like Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” or Proverbs 11:2, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” and in 1 John 2:16, “For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.”

As pride infiltrates our hearts within the conflict, we quickly look at what the other side has done wrong and how they have hurt us. Often, we feel like we have done nothing to contribute to the conflict.  We are more focused on the other party than ourselves.  Jesus’ instructions to us are, “ 3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5

We need to first evaluate our own actions and thoughts.  We need to pray and ask God to reveal to us our part of the conflict.  Sometimes our “speck” is much bigger than we think it is. Often within the conflict we have fallen into sin ourselves.  We have allowed our anger, divisiveness, our stubbornness, bitterness, our complaining, slander, backbiting, reckless words and our pride to hinder us from being the peacemakers Jesus calls us to be.  Only when we recognize our part in the conflict, seek forgiveness and confess our wrongdoing in the conflict, is there going to be the opportunity for resolution.   The key to beginning to resolve conflict is to evaluate our own heart and being reminded of God’s great love for each of us.  Next month we will finish this discussion and talk about what it looks like to be a peacemaker.

Luke Schouten